I'll be the first to admit it. Sometimes I become so consumed with life and busy-ness and adulting that I don't even know how to begin navigating this journey back to myself. Talk about a mid-life crisis (I'll be 34 on 2/12, i.e. TOMORROW, Y'all!!).
During some intentional moments of self- reflection over the past several months, I realized that I'd spent so much of my life trying to be "good," I never took the time to figure out how to be 'Me...'
It's as if I'm waiting for a real adult, someone who has already figured life out, to shoot me an email giving me permission to change. To shift. To speak up. To show up. To create... To become.
Sounds silly, right? But how many of us are waiting, hoping, procrastinating, and avoiding under the guise of "adulting" instead of DOING and BECOMING? Whose approval are we seeking and why do they get to hold the pen that sketches the stories of our lives? What makes them more qualified than you or I? When do we start showing up for ourselves, speaking up for ourselves, approving of ourselves, and becoming ourselves?
Because I'm a lover of all things list/ planning/ organization-related ( i.e. overpriced planners with stickers and matching pen sets and page markers and highlighters to color- code #allthethings, dry erase boards, desk calendars, wall calendars, the sticky meal-planning menus that adhere to your fridge, cutesy notebooks at the fancy stores plastered with sayings like "SLAY YOUR DAY!" and "Wife. Mom. Boss.," monogrammed post-its, crumpled up receipts in the bottom of my purse in moments of sheer desperation, etc...) I created a list of simple steps that I know will be helpful to you:
1. Be honest with yourself about your experiences, your struggles, your disappointments, your breaking point(s), and every single step of your journey.
2. Be honest with others by sharing your authentic self and story in a space and platform where you feel safe.
3. Establish your tribe/ support system. If you feel you already have one, it may be time to sift (#bakerspun) through your contacts and re-evaluate any relationships that don't elevate, refresh, and pour back into you. Life is way too short to be playing around with folks who do not add LIFE, LOVE, and VALUE to your life.
4. Adjust your expectations of yourself. Hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection. Love and accept your perfectly, imperfect self UNCONDITIONALLY. Give yourself permission to try and fail and do what your heart beats for before you "feel" ready. Allow yourself to take risks.
5. Find spaces of contentment where you are while moving toward where you want to be. There is no expiration date on "becoming." Everything you've been through in your life is a necessary component of who you are meant to become. Applaud yourself for all the small victories along the way. Stay hungry for growth and progress and the beautiful nirvana of living the life you love. And enjoy the ride!